Introduction

The time has come for a new competition format for the new millennium. A new concept that embraces the cultural changes of postmodernity in a transformative meta shift!

Format

The Format has been devised by the Committee Of Competitive Kiters, and is relatively simple. Everyone, each Person Really Into Competitive Kiting competes together. Dual, Quad and Single Line: Individuals, Pairs and Teams. Each Flying Unit of Competitive Kiters flies in turn to some exciting music they have chosen. It is expected that they will have come up with some sort of Ballet routine that reflects a range of flying skills.

Judging

Judging is really a lot of effort. So each Flying Unit of Competitive Kiters (I will have to think of an acronym for that) marks themselves after they have flown. Each other Flying Unit of Competitive Kiters is expected to watch all the others, although they don't have to. Each Flying Unit of Competitive Kiters grades themselves in the following areas:

• Taste in Kites
• Dress Sense
• Taste in Music
• Quality of Flying
• Chilled out Factor / Style / The X-factor

Let's say out of 20 for each section giving an overall score out of 100.

Now here is the clever part. All the other Flying Units of Competitive Kiters also consider each performance and when all the Flying Units of Competitive Kiters have flown everyone sits down around a big table and presents the scores they have given themselves and have to justify why they have scored themselves that way. Anyone else can chip in with questions. The Flying Unit of Competitive Kiters being scored are the only people allowed to suggest a score, but the score has to be agreed as an acceptable minimum by a majority of the other Flying Units of Competitive Kiters. Remember each however many Persons Really Into Competitive Kiting there are in a Flying Unit of Competitive Kiters the Flying Unit of Competitive Kiters only get one vote.

Now all this could get rather long winded, so we introduce an individual to be the Chief Flying Unit of Competitive Kiters Extra Resolver, to sort things out. I could see myself in that role.

Results

At the end of the day the results are put into a very complex spreadsheet which is promptly deleted. All the P.R.I.C.K's, F.U.C.K's and the Chief F.U.C.K.E.R. go for a large drink probably joined by the C.O.C.K if they are about.

This has been a production of Schoolboy Humor Inc.